Tag Archives: relationships and ADHD

Fables of the Reconstruction

Ever been in an argument with someone in which you both become so entrenched that there doesn’t seem to be a way out? It’s like a wordy treadmill, rolling over the same old points of view, beliefs, accusations, and any other point of contention – endlessly churning, like rear wheels spinning in red mud.

Maybe you come to a sort of conclusion, or at least a mutual agreement to stop arguing. No winner no loser. Afterward, there’s an incompleteness in the gut that even pralines and cream ice cream can’t comfort. You carry it with you for days, maybe. There’s inner discord, an out-of-sync vibration.

When you re-visit the scene of the crime, there’s something missing. A hollowness that won’t be filled. Forgiveness mouthed from a clenched heart is insufficient.

You realize the relationship can never be the same. It’s a fable of reconstruction.

Often we’ll try to re-create what was. But, what was has passed. What’s needed is something new.

That’s the soul of the creative process. A thing cannot be re-made. The attempt can only be like Frankenstein’s monster. The semblance of a stitched together man. Instead, we must accept that what once was is forever broken and un-fixable.

As Creatives, we take broken things and make something new. Maybe this is why creativity can be so messy. There is no reconstruction. There is only deconstruction and then starting from scratch. Sure, you build upon the knowledge, but the hands-on dirty work reaps something new.

That’s hard in relationships, We carry the broken bits with us wherever we go, with whomever we connect.

Maybe we need to re-gesso the canvas. Clean the brushes. Imagine a new painting. Create something new versus reconstructing something tired and trite.